As some might know I worked as a Cabin Crew member for Emirates for just over 4 and a half years. I worked in Economy Class for far too long, with just over a year working in Business Class. Flying for me now is a massive hack. I despise getting onto a plane, mostly because I did it for so long it no longer has the excitement factor for me.
Recently I flew to Johannesburg on an overly orange plane, domestic flights are somehow harder for me to handle than the international ones. Normally the orange planes which I have become unusually loyal towards, are on time. And of course, after bragging on a blue bird website about how on time they are, my flight was delayed. But not delayed enough to warrant a voucher of any kind.
We finally boarded. I normally check-in on the airlines mobile app, which by the way, is ridiculously easy to use. I was in seat 2A. I don’t like to walk too far into the plane, also I like to get off first. (Like I said, I don’t really enjoy flying now) After sitting down, my row buddies moved to the empty bulkhead seats (the very first row on the plane), I had 3 seats to myself. #Winning
The First Officer explained why we were delayed over the speaker system. He also went into way too much detail about which direction we were taking off and the flight route for the day. It was normal stuff, with added information which no one really understands or cares about. After a few moments of silence, he pointed out that to our left was a green screen where a movie was being filmed. Already I had heard this guy’s voice enough.
In front of me in 1A, was a uniformed Cabin Crew member. She went on to whoever would listen that she had been flying since 5h30 that morning and was going back to Johannesburg to rest. After we took off, she reclined her seat. Now, I don’t normally have a problem with people reclining their seats, they were made to recline. I developed a problem after she turned around, and said in her best East Rand accent; “Don’t you wanna move seats?” Already slightly annoyed that she was forcing me to engage with her, I took out my earphones and she pleasantly repeated, with a big red lipsticked smile. I looked as blankly as I could at her, and replied; “No.” She then tilted her head, almost as if she didn’t understand what I had said and finally responded with a hand wave and; “Ag, just joking man.” That was when our conversation ended by me putting my earphones back in my ears. Later I saw as she dozed off in her reclined seat that her name was spelt with too many vowels, like her parents thought the more unusual you spell a normal name the more exotic it becomes. It’s not exotic Nata-lee, it’s just spelt wrong.
I was averagely content on the flight after that annoying interaction, until my music and the dull hum of the engines was interrupted by the First Officer happily pointing out things we were passing, which included everything between Cape Town and Johannesburg. There are a lot of things between Cape Town and Johannesburg. A Lot! And when he ran out of speaker airtime, he walked down the isle of the plane trying to chat to passengers. On the day of this flight, like most days, I have very little time for annoying idiots. He did not try talk to me.
The appeal of the orange airline for me is the usually on-time flights, the lack of PA announcements and jokes, and the ease I normally have at sleeping for 2 hours without forced interaction with strangers. All of this went to shit when I was delayed without explanation, given no choice but to listen to a cock in the front of the plane babble on about South Africa crop circles. With an added bonus of being asked by a streaky haired girl to move seats for her comfort.
As you can imagine, I was less than impressed.
peopleshouldknow 